


Dean Winchester does not pray

by punkwithametalarm



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel playing Angry Birds, Dean Thinking, Dean doesn't hurt, Disregard of the metaphysical, Family Don't End in Blood, Family Feels, Not Beta Read, POV Dean Winchester, Reflection, Thinking, for once, who needs god anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 10:24:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3525740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkwithametalarm/pseuds/punkwithametalarm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean thinks about how he doesn’t need metaphysical force to watch out for him – because he’s got something better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean Winchester does not pray

Dean Winchester does not pray. He does not hope. He does not wish.

         Even _before_ the demon came and killed his mom, he wasn’t very much of the needy type. He, just like his old father, believed that if one wanted something, one should go and get it. But he used to pray every night, kneeling in front of his bed, with a tiny Jesus statue on his hand. He prayed for few things, things that one couldn’t go and get it. Things out of his power to get. Such as _keep my family safe when I can’t._

         But then, when he couldn’t keep them safe, God, or the gods, or whatever bigger entity was out there, didn’t take care of his family.

         After that, Dean stopped praying.

         “If there is anyone, _anyone_ , listening and looking at us, it doesn’t care” he once said, he doesn’t remember when or to whom, but he knows he said it. He still believes it, though. He didn’t trust anyone else to watch out for his butt but himself and Sammy and Bobby.

         Until Castiel came along. He started to trust him. Add up a bit of gigantic baby brother and uncle Bobby. Damn, there was nowhere safer than with those three. So _fuck you,_ gods, Dean Winchester does not need you, because he’s got a feathery bastard, a sasquatch and a father figure doing a better job than you ever did.

         One day, when Sammy is cleaning his gun, Castiel is playing _Angry Birds_ (“You won’t have my eggs, you evil pigs!”) as Bobby is sharpening his knives, Dean considers telling them. Something around _Hey, good thing I’ve got you guys, because otherwise, I would have to count on gods, and we know they are useless on that aspect._ But when he sees how relaxed Castiel is, completely focused on his game, how Sammy is not looking at every corner, and on how Bobby looks utterly distracted and disconnected from the world, Dean realizes they already know that – and they feel the same way.


End file.
